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This is the official and the final personal blog site of Jay San Juan. Take it or leave it, post it or tag it, selfie or group pic, murder or suicide. Anything you wanted to know, if you wanted to know is here. To cut the shit, this site provides some bits of logical life teachings that sometimes ignores by our own senses, this is a compilation of Jay San Juan self taught teachings. Contact us for any suggestion of topics if there is any problem concerning about your reading experience here on this plain white site.
Let me write the words I tell, for I to show it and sell. I don't want to make it fell on the ground as well. So I put it in papers for real, to inspire and to feel other people who lives around the wheel. For I exist not for myself but for the people who needs in help but I'm just a man in kelp so I put it in the words instead

To The One I Truly Admire

Written By Juan Dimasalang on Thursday, December 3, 2015 | 7:09 PM

Picture taken along the riverside in Balongao, Pangasinan

To the One I Truly Admire
I’m sorry for spilling the orange juice over your beautiful dress the other night. I still can’t get over about such stupidity and all these annoying matters I’ve done to you. Forgive me. I’ve failed to at least do something good to you.
I admire you and I just want you to know why I do and why I want to try, if there is any luck left, to court you before regret will come slapping my face tomorrow.
You are that kind of girl who looks grouchy but within, weighs a friendly person who have the warmest smile that flickers together with your beautiful eyes. And in such instances when you laugh one will come to deny that you are that scary grouchy girl in the school. Another reason why most who knows you pretty well can’t even laid down a dozen of reason of mistakes because they know, even there are some implications, that you are Kind-hearted person.
The first thing I notice is that you are emotionally resilient, the first time I saw you I thought you were a happy-go-lucky-rich-kid-who-doesn’t-give-fuck-because-she-is-too-beautiful-to-possess-any-stressful-problems kind of person but I was wrong. The first time I saw you, your Two-year Boyfriend just broke up with you though it turned to be like that I never see any sign that you let such pain to ruin yourself.
Another thing to consider is that you love reading books. As they say ‘Find someone who love to read books’ because they appreciate the thought and opinion of others. Readers met hundreds of souls, see the things an average person can’t notice and experienced complex emotions through the pages and chapters of every book they held into their hands and let those wisdoms sink into their soul.
Above from such, I didn’t find you, I notice you even you try to conceal yourself in the shadows whenever I try to take a stolen picture of yours. You are simple yet unique. I see that you hate to be in the limelight but you want people to notice you because they see you the way you wanted yourself to be seen by these persons around you.
I can go further defining you through these metaphors and elaborating some fractions of your infinites, I can even write a book for you if you want.
But do you know what makes me to admire you more than a girl who have 36B, a gentle waist curve, a buns and a compelling physical appearance? Because I see the person inside of such face and I admire her. Beautiful face would come to wither and die but never the soul which lies underneath, it would live in eternity in the minds of those who were left behind. As I said to you, ‘I accept you because it’s you’ and that is a good reason to fall for over and over again.
The fact is that, you are too perfect to be true, like an Angel, who comes down in this place to let men know that God exist in many different ways including Love and Admiration. You opened the highways of my senses to see what is not seen and to feel what is not felt and through such act I come to write this letter because I can’t go in front of you and talk about all these things. I’m afraid that I’m too imperfect for you.
This feeling is weird and so I’ am. The hardest part of everything is to start something when everything seems to be an end. Maybe we are just that two strangers who see each other on our life’s journey but I just don’t want to meet you in a crossroad in which we would head on opposite direction. I want to be with you and to see you being with someone that would fit into your perfection and at such point I would be eternally grateful and satisfied. To see someone you truly admire being grateful is enough to quench a heart of a content man.
To sum everything, here is how I can define you—you are that great star that I looked upon the night sky, you are that sunset that I come to watch after waiting for the entire day to pass and a sunrise that wakes me up through such warmest dew, a horizon that put a boundaries between the sky and the earth, a flower that mesmerize the eyes, the rain that falls blindly in the ground, a light that guides me back home, a soft wind in the fields that takes me off my feet, a music that sings a lullaby in my ears and an Angel that keeps me under the shores watching how this world revolves and see every piece of beauty that lived into its realm. And I know how these feelings stucked those who admire you more than I do.
It’s been a long time and I thought that this is some sort of feelings that would fade as the time pass by. All things change but that doesn’t mean all things are gone. But you see, I turned to love things because I see a fraction of you inside of such thing.
I wish I could’ve danced you a little longer, and let all these thoughts to fell into one definitive meanings. However things have an ending in which after the dance I would let go of your hand and let others feel the same emotions that comes across my senses when I held your hand as we dance together in the crowd but before such would happen I would like to thank you for the chance.
If you wonder why some would knock on your door and ask for a chance for them to love you? It’s because you are worth to be admired, to fall for and to be loved and a kind of princess who deserve a happy-ever-after story.


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