Limang Segundong Forever

ANG LIMANG SEGUNDONG FOREVER

"Hindi sa haba yan sa laki masusukat kung gaano kasarap at totoo ang pagmamahal" Karamihan sa panahon natin binabase ang tunay na pagmamahal sa tagal ng pagsasama, pero kung sa panahon din naman ang sukatan ng tunay pagmamahal diyan kayo mabibilib sa katropa ko na itago natin sa pangalang V. Si V na mahilig magtago sa dilim, ayaw sa liwanag at ang tanging liwanag na gusto niyang makita ay ang liwanag mula sa monitor ng kompyuter, tech-geek kung baga. Siya si V na nakamaskara nakikita mong nakangiti pero sa kalooblooban niya wala kang maaaninag na kasiyahan. Isa siyang taong nabiktima ng lecheng forever ni Marcelo, kasi sa loob ng tatlong taon sa Sintang Paaralan iisang babae lang ang kanyang nagustuhan. Biruin mo, sa dinami dami ng isda nakabingwit siya ng Century Tuna Flakes n oil--"It's good for the heart" ika nga. Marami ngang babaeng magaganda sa loob ng Sintang Paaralan "Look to your left, look to your right and shake it all around and all you can say is Wow Philippines--the feeling is like It's More Fun in the Philippines". Kaya nga may PUP Thomism para makuhanan sila at Mang Tomas Code para masabing "Maganda sila" at "Worth it mahalin" Pero si V iba, loyal na loyal siya kay babae hindi at NEVER naging sila. Mas talo pa niya ang dalawang tao na masasabing may 'Sila' kasi kahit hindi naging sila nairaos niya ang pagmamahal niya kay babae w/in 3years. Itago natin si babae sa pangalang Angeliqe, kasi maganda siya at isa siyang Anghel na galing sa langit at napunta sa lupa. Para bang si Angelique ay isang 50gb Flash Drive na na-eject sa langit at nakita ni V at siempre lahat naman siguro matutuwa pag nakakita ng 50gb Flash Drive kahit hindi alam kung anong mayroon sa loob. Na-meet ni V si Angelique sa isang student org--Freshmen si V sa kae-evolve na course ni Poseidon at si Angelique naman ay sophomore sa pagbebenta ng cupcakes(ewan ko lang) 7 years ang tanda niya kay V(cat age). Itago na lang natin ang org na ito sa pangalang-Kubeta. Actually kasama ko siya na pumasok sa kubeta pero ako lang ang lumabas at naiwan siya sa loob. Nagustuhan niya ata dun kasi nakakita siya ng Anghel at siguro kala niya ang Kubeta ay isang langit. To make it short nagustuhan niya si Angelique pero that doesn't mean na gusto rin ni Angelique si V, ano sa tingin niyo forever ni Marcelo? "In your little monkey dreams" Simula noong sophomore nage-efort si V every ocassion para mapansin siya ni Angelique, may regalo siya sa Valentine's day, Sa birthday ni Angelique at sa araw na malakas ang sapi ni Pablo Picasso sa kanya. Yung regalo niya parang Oblation sa UP mapapa-wow ka sa laki ng ginagawa niyang sining, as in wow grabe "Hanep anak ah", effortful kung baga. Dahan-dahang ipinasok ni V sa buhay niya si Angelique, ni hindi man lang niya i-scan kung may virus si Angelique basta ang alam niya "It doesnt matter as long as it is a 50gb flash drive" Pero ngayong taon, sa loob ng 3 taon na naging parte ng buhay ni V si Angelique, dun niya nalaman na ang 50gb flash drive na ito ay may virus. Naghanda si V ng regalo para kay Angelique sa birthday niya, isang napakagandang gumagalwa na "Mother and child" ang surprise ni V. Naurong pa nga ang pagbigay niya dahil sa lecheng bagyo na iyan at dahil na din sa napakaspecial nung regalo kaya natagalan. Wala siyang matinong plano kaya heto kami, tinawag ang buong Barangay Laurel para backupan siya, isinama ko na din si Mang Tomas at Jason Bourne. Nagplano kami at hindi to maganda, napakaganda nito. Naka-standby na yung buong team ng PUP Thomism para sa lights&camera, andiyan na si Mang Tomas para makiusyoso, maayos na ang daan papuntang Jollibee, nakaset na ang oras ng 'Surprise', naka-standby na din ang mga mob dancers sa kanto, naghihintay na ang banda sa food court para tumogtog, parating na din ang lechon na galing sa La Loma, may banderitas na din at handa na ang lamesa at upuan para sa bisita, ayos na ang catering services, ayos na din yung Sound System at yung performers tulad ng Silent Sanctuary, Kamikaze at Tanya Markova. Pero sabi ko nga plano lang ang lahat, basta ibinigay na lang ni V yung "Mother and child" Epic fail yung plano ni V, tinangihan ni Angelique yung regalo. Hindi man daw pinansin, 4r4y q0h bh3. Yung kala mo Forever yun pala limang segundo lang. Hindi dahil nakalagay sa casing ng flash drive ay 50gb ay 50gb ba yun at hindi dahil sabi nung tindero ng chicharon na may "laman" ang tinitinda niyang chicharon eh may laman talaga yung chicharon. Saka lang nalaman ni V na may virus pala yung flash drive na iyon nung nagka-leche-leche na ang system niya, hindi lang pala virus, sa tagal na naka-connect eh nagkaroon nsa ng worm. Takte kahit yung mga kaklase niyang bukambibig ang "Understanding" di siya maintindihan. Walang tumulong na ayusin ang system niya, ayaw niya kasing magpaayos. Ngayon okay naman siya, parang si crush mukhang napaka-okay pero sabi ko yung mga taong ganito parang si V, nakangiti sa labas pero nakasimangot sa loob.

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2:13 AM | 0 comments

No Tittle

I actually write this poem to this special person but as what
she feels it is not enough to be called as sonnet. It lacks few
lines to be called as a sonnet

Years proceed bestowed ones age
Proof to endure so firm thou stand
Thy feet took steps thee stance in land
Time proceed not ever in mind

For seasons advanced, run so blind
Lift oneself up don't fall behind
Such strong person thou lives inside
Let it go, let it break the line

I stopped for a few minutes after writing this poem in a piece of paper. It is just a simple gift, a simple gift for a special person. However time and the universe give enough reason for me to judge her from top to toe, i mean from bottom and on the top of her personality. Not entirely, but the pieces of the ideas makes one firm judgement, a rational judgement that the person whom i expected more to understand a "weird" personality is a lies.

Maybe the chances brought me on that point where i have to think if she is good enough for me, or she is just immature enough to be judge accordingly. There are a lot of things, maybe a lot of speculation around that situation of mine mostly negative. Expectation didn't kill it is the feeling of letting go a person that you're attached as you write this creepy novels and poems only dedicated for her.

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11:08 AM | 1 comments

The Real Loss Is To Love Someone More than Yourself

You need an arms to throw away all of the bad luck beneath

If you ever remember or watched that 1996 film of Matt Damon together with Ben Affleck the title may sound very familiar to you. I get that phrase on the movie Good Will Hunting which gives a lot of shit if you listen carefully. When you feel such love, the thing what some of the bookish person i meet refer as "Spark" (I didn't ever feel such thing, except during the summer days--rushing in the fully air-conditioned 7eleven store and accidentally touching your friend's skin) it is the most unexplainable thing and surreal feeling that a man may ever feel. In the point when you feel immobilize, can't move, can't even speak well and your mind seems too numb to think what will you do on that point. Such feeling is unmeasurable, it is like a lightning that strikes you down the sky-it comes so quickly that you didn't have enough time to escape from it either throw it away and hide from it. Such feeling is there when this special person of yours is right there besides you. A person that makes you feel important guy in a movie, a person that makes you feel happy and a person that seems like she is carrying a comforter in which you can rest and be comfortable anytime-anywhere you meet. She is there on the front doors when you feel bad about your family, when the society is against you and when all the things seems falling down you have no where to run, no where to hide and no place to cry like a baby and throw all of your emotions. When you're feeling sick she is there to lend you a hand and to care for you. Such examples make a strong emotional connnection between two people and as the time goes trust will make the foundation even stronger through the winds and storm on the way. To trust someone is the best gift that anyone can give and to receive-it is the best gift for marriage and for having a relationship.
For such a long time of trusting that person, that seems like she is part of yourself. A person that you want to be with at the end of the day and on the next day beside you as you start your another chapter of your life, a girl that you want to spend with you in lifetime. For a long time you feel that you love her more that yourself and she love you as what you love her-you're together for a long time and for a long years you've been on storm together, you get through it and survive in it. And when that person is lost, you can't do nothing but to see her to be taken away by God, the sense of real lost can only be felt if you learn to love someone more than you love yourself. That is the greatest lost of a man-to see someone to be taken away by fate, a simple but deepest thing that he will carry in the rest of his life.

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3:35 AM | 0 comments

You're NEVER too young to DREAM BIG

We all got dreams, we hope for it like it was the last thing we've got except from your crazy neighborhood or your 1996 ford truck. We all wanted those dream happen in our life, however people are different to each other that some people dream when they're awake. That is the great difference that not all dreamers can understand.
(This story is from the bottom of my mind and if you think there are some parts that sounds like it happened in your favorite movie, well let me know it, just in case i have watched it on my own)

This story is about a girl name Kate and her little dream that soon be her reality.

My name is Kate Shillings, a normal teenager in high school facing different problems including how to be with guys, interact with other students, and have friends to talk with during break time. I'm always alone in the corner of the cafeteria in a cold table eating while watching other children having fun together with their peers. I was hoping to have one so that i can have a buddy to talk as we return back home from school. I was always hoping about it, but time grows longer and months faded to summer that dream never came into me.
Because we are newly moved from San Fernando Valley, new life stuck me down starting nothing leaving all of my known friends in the Middle School and my sweet memories with them. However, we're here and there is no coming back and i have to be strong as i'm the only child that my parents would be proud of. 
Every night i lie on the balcony of my room and look at those stars wishing that this dream will soon happen so that i can be a happy girl much like my parents. They're in love with each other like they're still as young as me and i wish that i will feel the same thing that i see everyday. In the clear sky of the night, i was looking how great the world and how many people is looking at the same star that i'm staring right now. I was wondering if he or she is thinking the same thing, to have a friend to talk with, that is my dream that i wish to happen. Then as i stare a falling star draw between the spaces of the twinkling stars. As my my mother told me, that these stars falling down from the heaven comes in purpose, for the people who sees it fall to wish--they said it will come true just put you heart on it. So, i wish to have a friend that can defend me from the horde of bullies, i always wanted it ever since.
The next day, normal day, i'm still thinking about it--my dream to have friend. However the same thing happen to me again, bullies send me down insulting prank on how chubby my body that "no guy will ever attempt to be friend with me".
I do the same thing every night and waited for another falling star to draw in the sky before i take myself into the bed. I wish the same thing again and again, holding it as the only thing that keeps me going to school hoping that someday someone will be my friend. I was thinking if that person is a girl or a guy, what we would do every weekend except from texting or tweeting, if he or she would be the kind of friend that i wanted, all the things that will probably happen after i got a friend is all playing on my mind. It is the only thing i've got, the only thing that i posses that can give me the sense of the future.
I hold it, until i become senior and still the same girl that they know this past years in High School. A quiet kind of girl who just put herself in wearing nice clothes to please everybody's eyes. As i go along the first day of class, a guy called me in the corridor and as i turned back i quickly recognized his face. It was Israel, my good friend in Los Angeles together with my friend standing on the lobby waving at me. At that time, i feel that my dream come true and the feeling comes up as i think about having a friend each  day that passed. I smile and run towards them as they greet me.
On that point i've learned that i'm trying to look for a friend that is does not exists, I've a bunch of friend that i forgot as i go along. I was thinking about being empty without a friend but the real thing is that i've got a friend with them.

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12:37 PM | 0 comments